I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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