UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We are all done wearing pants today
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
