I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
