my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
