Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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