is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
