this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
