My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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