I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The air was thick with penises
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
don't judge my taste in strippers
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
