Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Welp...herpes.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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