she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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