It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
