I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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