is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
