i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
