His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
