Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
