How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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