found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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