I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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