I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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