Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
