Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
