it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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