yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
