don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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