No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
