using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
