Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
