Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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