I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
