Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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