whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
