I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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