Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
