She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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