When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
