I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
