I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
