I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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