I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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