i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
