Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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