It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
