i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
