Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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