i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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