they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
