A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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