I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
