Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
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